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Lord Jacula

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On Going Thoughts [25 Jul 2009|09:56pm]
I sever my ties with emotions.  I use logic and understand to feel.  If I never attach myself to anyone, I can't be hurt when they leave.  No more painful suicides.  No more sadness. No more hurt.
Fill The Void

coolest dreams [23 Jun 2009|01:18pm]
I tend to have the coolest dreams, ever.
I like the ones where I can fly around.  That would be bad ass in real life.

Anyways, this latest dream I had was about me being part of a superhero team that was reuniting for the first time in 10 years in San Diego.  The last time we met together, my brother had disappeared, and no  was talking about what happened.  So I went down with my sister and met with a lot of friends, old flames, and some rivals.  Things were going pretty fun, playing some superhero games (it was like quiditch from harry potter).  And then, I saw my brother's gf there, the last person he was known with before his disappearance. So I go over to her tent to talk with her about what happened.

She wouldn't talk, she got up and started to walk away.  I get up and start walking towards her, and begin accusing her of having something to do with it. She gets mad and then starts crying.  She says, she seen what had happen, and that she couldn't do anything about it.  Apparently, one of the other superheroes had a thing against my brother and I, and was jealous of my brother.  The rival was known as Centaur, for obvious reasons, but his power were far unknown.

A little info on my abilities: I am indestructable, and have limited flight. Anyways, the Centaur caught on to my investigation and tried to have me snuffed out.  He kills my friend, The Skull, after forcing him to unlock a hidden safe to reveal weapons that could damage me.  He gives these to other super heroes to try to kill me. They come after me, chasing me around the tents.

The setting is a lot like a carnival with tents and tarps going out everywhere.  And then the entire area is covered in one HUGE tarp to cover us from satellite view.

After a few action sequences, I knocked out all the enemies and only the Centaur is left, and he reveals his powers.  He has the ability to freeze a living image into a zone of banishment, permenantly.  He activated his zone on a tree and threw one of the failed superhero into the zone.  When the zone closed, and image of the superhero was left on the tree.  And thats when I remember seeing my brother's image on the side of a building in LA.  Now I knew the truth and wanted revenge.

My friends and my brother's girlfriend lured the Centaur out in the middle of the tents.  I started to fly grabbing the tents and slingshotting myself higher and higher.  My friends below, begging me not to, that I would end up like my brother. I ignored them.  I grabbed the big tarp on top and slingshotted myself to heights I've never seen. I felt so free, so strong, and so knowingly of what to do.  I aimed myself to the center of the tents and pulled out a knife, waiting to reach my peak and then forcing myself down at such great speeds.

Meanwhile, in the tents below the Centaur opens a zone upon the tents and is about to throw my brother's girlfriend into the zone, when he hears and sees the large tarp rip open at such velocity!  It was too late! I can swirling into him so fast and so hard, he flew right into the zone!  I bounce off and knocked down three or four tents.  I got up in time to see the zone close in upon itself, leaving the Centaur's impression upon the tent as it was falling down.

And so ended the great superhero convention.  My sis, brother's gf, and I went home together.  Happy and knowing that we avenged my brother.


The End.
(I love my dreams)

Fill The Void

Avatar Marathon [30 May 2009|11:14am]
Who wants to come over Tuesday night and watch a marathon of Avatar? I'm going to try to run all 3 seasons.

So come and watch it with me!
Fill The Void

I miss my dad [28 May 2009|11:51pm]
I miss watching movies with him.
I miss arguing over religion and science.

I miss trying to prove him wrong.
I miss him getting angry with me.

I just miss him.
Fill The Void

Back in Belfair [16 May 2009|10:30pm]
Hey ya!

I've been back here for a month and Have not gone insane!!!!


LOL.  Anyone out here that likes to play games?
I have a lot of board games and video games that need people to play with.


Fill The Void

HeroScape [22 Apr 2009|08:40pm]
Anyone into board games? I just got this pretty cool game HeroScape.  Who wants to play?

Think WoW+Chest+Risk+puzzle
Fill The Void

All-Understanding [02 Apr 2009|06:38pm]
I wouldn't really call myself "all-knowing" more like, all-understanding, which so happens to be my frailty.  And now, I don't really understand what happened.  I don't like getting pity or sympathy from others.  I don't like the attention, but I know what happens when such events occur.  My father killed himself yesterday.

And I know that by telling others this, it will get their sympathy and pity and thus, many will think I'm utilizing such a situation for my benefits.  I miss my dad.  I wish I had been closer to him instead of always pushing him off.  I tend to do that to people, always pushing them off until later.  Always expecting to hang out with them later, and never now.  And now he's gone.

I don't know what's happening anymore. I'm so lost and twisted.  I'm so confused.  All I can do is give my support to my family.
Fill The Void

Fester Addams [28 Feb 2009|01:48am]
I'm so tired of being alone...another night I cry at the moon in self pity wishing I could find just someone...and yet i'm called ugly, unattractive and disgusting.  No one ever can look at my with love in their eyes...
i will always be hated, no matter what i do...
002 Dead SoulsFill The Void

Treatment [16 Jan 2009|02:22am]
I'm listening to "true colors" and it's shining through to me.  There are people who don't know how important they are in your life because you never tell them.  And then they leave, or take their own life, and you can never tell them.  I was hoping to make our friendship more than text messages and phone calls.

I remember when I first heard his name, back when I was in high school.  A boy liked, I found out, was dating Johnny.  He was just a name at that point.  A year later, the summer after I graduated, and was going to school at the OC, I started going to the Shari's thing with the other gays where I first met him in person.  We a few times there, but he never remembered my name...

After I got called up by the military, i was working active duty at the bremerton armory with the kitsap county emergency services.  Once a week I would see him, and I could never get myself to say hello...I would try online, but it was unsuccesful and came off weird and awkward on both parts.  I quit trying after that.

Another year I was out in Seattle and going to Bars.  I would run into him every few months, again being reintroduced and never getting more than a hello out to him.  I left seattle without saying goodbye.

When I came back in November, I wanted to say my hello and make his acquaintance.  I wanted to be his friend.  I wanted to come back strong and say hello to everyone I never had the courage to do so before.  We exchanged numbers and we spoke a couple times on the phone and exchanged a lot of text messages.  always saying we'll meet later, that one or the other was busy with work or plans or schedule...

I missed his gingerbreak party because of the snow.  I tried to get him out to my new years party.  I texted him 3 days ago to get him to come out and after a few exchanges of text messages, he replied with "I won't be coming out to seattle anytime soon".  By that message and others throughout the night, I should have put them together and realized what was on his mind.  I should have been stronger and called him, talked to him....but I'm weak and I couldn't and my cowardness has......

I wish I was a stronger person......
I'm sorry.
001 Dead SoulFill The Void

All These suicides.... [14 Jan 2009|10:13am]
Have me distraught.  I don't know anything anymore.  I'm so sad.  This just takes me back to losing my first love over suicide.  And now a friend.  This...is painful but we will make it through.
No longer will I talk about my problems to relate them to yours.  It is all about you.  I vowed to be a protector of life.  If anyone of you need a person to talk to, I am here to listen.
Fill The Void

Betty Page [13 Dec 2008|08:31pm]
Yeah, she died (most of us thought she died YEARS ago)...
But I think it's rather sad that her obituaries show her pictures and memories of her formative years, before she decide to turn over a new leaf, claim her pictures as blasphemy and decreed all that she had done.  She is well known for her positions and lack of clothes, which she will be forever known for, but I think, for the respect of her death, that she could have been given some respect to her obituaries and given the decency to show her more traditional pictures that she would have wanted to be seen.

sad sad sad...
Fill The Void

Dreams, Reality, Insomnia [03 Dec 2008|01:01am]
I hate going to bed.  My nightmares always become real.  I don't sleep much.  I never have.

This one time, I had a dream where I was being melted by some sort of radiation, and I felt my body spasm, collapse and boil under the radiation in my sleep which forced me to wake up in such horrible immense pain.  My body literally was burning as if my dream was real.  This was not the first time, nor the last time I felt pain from inside a dream in real life.  It was by far one of the most painful and realistic.  I've been cut, strangled/hung, and beaten in dreams only to wake up with the same cuts, scars and bloody/bruised body parts.

That is not even the worse part.  My dreams not only apply physical trauma to me, but sometimes, my dreams are so real, that they become real.  Deja Vu, one can say.  It's not like I dream of tomorrow, today.  But more like, sequences of events that may occur in the future, either tomorrow, next week, month, year or even decade.  I will forget all about the dreams until I start walking through the moments of the dream in real life and it all comes.

And then, most of the times, I'm just filled with so much energy I can't sleep.  No matter how many situps, pushups or writing I do....I am still awake......I'm writing a new novel.  It might be fun.  I might finish it. I might publish it.  It's going to be a lot different than anything I've written before....
Fill The Void

Chez Geek [20 Nov 2008|07:39pm]
So come to East Olive Way Starbucks, right now, and play a card game with me.

Fill The Void

Rally for Gay Rights in Volunteer Park [05 Nov 2008|11:00pm]
With the passing of propositions around the country declaring war on gay rights, we must stand up and defend us.
No group or culture has ever comprised a minority such as the homosexual culture.  We are black, white, jew, christian, atheist, short, tall, male and female.  We are a culmination of everything, and yet we lack equal rights.
We are given "same but different" treatment.  Kinda reminds the people of pre-1968, "Equal, but different" when blacks were not allowed to marry whites, or to vote.

We have been stripped away our right to marry.  We have been stripped the right to adopt children, save them a life in orphanage.
We have been made jesters and jokers for the media and portrayed as  being "fabulous" when in reality, we are losing our rights.  We cannot even donate blood or plasma!
Soon, they might as well take our civil rights away as well.

STAND UP.  It doesn't matter if you think you will get married or not, but the fact that you help give others that choice.  We need to start looking out for the entire community.

In the words of Barack Obama "Yes I Can."  We can stand up, every single last one of us.

Stand up and let our voices be heard!!

Saturday, Nov 8, at 12pm, join us at Volunteer Park.
Invite your friends and family.  Invite your allies.  Invite all those who care!
The time is now.
Every Gay, Any way, NOW
Fill The Void

THRUST [02 Nov 2008|02:29pm]
And here it was:

(my wire was bent in my corsett :( )
Fill The Void

Introducing Jacquelina Lovina Tequila!!!! [29 Oct 2008|09:22pm]
Here are My Face Pics

And Here's my body pic


Fill The Void

Bring on the Men [29 Oct 2008|05:44pm]
Jacquelina Lovina Tequila debuts this Saturday at Thrust on Blakes on telegraph here in Berkeley.

It'll be my last weekend here in town before I move back to Seattle, and I'm going to make it a blast.

I'll post pics of me face soon!
Fill The Void

too much, too soon [25 Oct 2008|08:19pm]
i moved down here for an education.  For the past 4 or so years i've been waiting for this experience.  I've even been going to community college to set me up for this adventure.

I move too far from campus.
I got mugged.
I had a cancer scare (still could be)
Commute has become painfully long.
Longing for friends nearby has set in.
Home sickness has set in.
Missing homework due dates.
Missing everyone
Too much to do, too little time.
Not being near a grocery store that I can safely walk to.
Out of food..
eating but once  day

These are just some of the reasons why I am leaving, not to mention I need to be out of my place by the 5th of Nnovember.

I love the school.
I love the people I've made as friends.
I love the events.
I love exploring these places.
I love the close-knit relationships that form between people.

BUT...I'm heading back to Seattle on November 5th.
I miss home.  i miss my friends.

Also, I'm going to start my own business...wish me luck.
Fill The Void

Financial Advisors [16 Oct 2008|09:54pm]
With the market crashing and all...and me in need of shelter,
Would it be a good idea to buy a house with loans and rent out the other rooms to pay back the loans while going to school?

I've seen many houses here for less than 300k (heck 600k would work) in which for a 4 bedroom house, I could rent out the other 3 bedrooms for about $500/mo.  That's $1500 from each person and $500 from me.  That would be $2000/mo towards the loan(s).  in one year I would have payed off $24,000 of the loan, and have the house well paid off within 15 years.


NOW, the question is, would this be a good idea?


002 Dead SoulsFill The Void

QUEERS UNITE!!! [15 Oct 2008|04:58pm]
This is a Message to anyone who describes themselves as being queer, gay, lesbian, homosexual or transgender, or any other description in which is discriminated by same-sex laws.

Proposition 8 will pass in November if we do not do something now.

If you live outside of California, but know people who live here, get them to vote NO on Prop 8.
There are online phone banks that you can do to help us at www.noonprop8.com.

Please, save marriage in California for all same-sex couples.  This is a step for same-sex marriages everywhere.

Fill The Void

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